Self Portrait Photography Exercise

As most of you know Ive been following MeRa's Blog for some time now and submitted a video for the SOAR scholarship contest. As you can see i didn't win and was very upset about it. This shocked me how upset i got! I didn't expect to win, i knew i wouldn't get it since im way to new at this and couldn't understand why i was so down about it. It was brought to my attention that i probably wanted it more then i knew! They are right! i dont think i realized how much I am falling in love with photography. Even though I did not win i have made some great friends and now have a place to share my photography. with fellow photographers =D
Well MeRa has put together a SOAR Blog. Not only is it for us to watch the recipients grow but we (soar sisters) get to grow with them =D This is really exciting for me and think its such a great thing that MeRa has put together.

Our first exercise is a Self Portrait. To document where you are in your journey of life. MeRa writes how this maybe difficult and uncomfortable But it wasn't for me. I knew exactly what i wanted to do. I didn't feel uncomfortable and really couldn't wait to share my photo on my blog.

This is i am in my Journey. Tell me what you see.

Ill explain as best i can how i took this. (not very good with the photo lingo..lol)
I took the picture and knowing it was going to take a while for the picture to finish snapping, I waited a little bit then sat in the chair! this gave the "see through" look. I did this once before, messing around, and knew this is what i wanted to do for this exercise
Lens:50mm
ISO: 100
Fstop: F22

After reading the recipients blog ..showing their self portrait and explaining how hard this was for them to share, I realized why this isnt hard for me! YOU are not in front of me looking at my photo. I cant see your expressions or have to "hear" what you see as your looking at my photo. I basically hit "post" and walk away and i have no idea who will read it.
These women had to sit in a room together and show their work in silence. one by one. explain what they see in the photo. If i was in their shoes I know i would have been petrified to do that.
Sooo im going to challenge myself. going to put myself in a situation that im NOT comfortable with, similar to these women! Im going to put the above picture as my profile on Facebook linking my blog to it. My stomach has butterflies as i type this!! should i make it harder!?!? maybe put my status to comment on my photo?!!? hmmm.. yup stomach just dropped. Well if you are a friend on facebook and dont see my status change.. then you'll know i chickened out on that challenge..LOL

Here is the other part of the exercise, an object that symbolizes you! This was really hard, i had no idea what object to use! What in the world would symbolize ME! How can i show myself with just one object. I finally settled on this one. not sure if i did it right! Wait, Is there a right or wrong. In any case..

Tell me, What do you see.........?

I cant wait to find out whats next..........

Day 10 of project 365

How i felt after SOAR announcement........

Passing time....

Its 1pm and i got Nadia down for a nap and gia watching tv! now for some ME time..

there is just one thing i cant seem to get out of my mind. Ive been thinking all morning, now into the afternoon, about the SOAR scholarship in the hopes that I win. Im emagining how i would react, of course its more like receiving a crown and flowers and a whole bunch of people cheering. LMAO! But im not the girly type. im more the T-shirt jean kinda girl. Soo the crown wouldnt really look so good. eh, maybe get a trophy in a shape of a camera??? or or, ........ ok ill stop =P
i dont know why i do this to myself, there is no way i could possibly win. There are so many more deserving women but still find myself checking the computer, in hopes....

I know that we are all winners no matter who gets picked and that we will ALL SOAR. But so hard to tell myself that. Always needing validation that im GOOD! so silly! there are people out there who have validated it but for some reason their voices are not strong enough. (maybe i need hearing aids?)

I did see MeRa say the announcement will be in a few hours but we are leaving to go get our hair cuts around 2. (lookin for a change, goin short!) So im gonna miss it. Unless.... maybe i can text my husband to check... and text me who won!

any way.. im just trying to pass some time. it is now to get ready to get a new "look" =P Good luck to all the SOAR applicants!

xoxo

Funk

Ive been in this weird funk! it comes and goes but this one seems to be lasting longer then the others. I get to a point where i dont feel like doing anything with my girls. I just want to sleep, or escape into my computer/photos! I hate feeling like this and Now its beginning to get on my nerves.

ive made some changes in hopes to snap myself out of this and with it being a new year its a great time =) Ive done a lot of cleaning in the house, some organizing, actually did my laundry..lol , and ive moved my computer away from my girls.. FAR FAR away so that ALL my attention is on them. not the computer! last thing i need to do is clean up and organize my computer/art/photography room. Im giving myself a week.

Ive also joined a group through SOAR called Soar sisters 365. you take a picture a day and share with the group. Click here to read an article about project 365 and how it works. im also going to try this from MeRa's blog "10 New Year's Exercises for the Artist with in". Then ill see where this takes me.

Below you will see the photos that i have taken for the project 365. Im going to try to blog with what photos ive shared.

Day 1

our boots

Day 2

playing around with fstop

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Day 3

Gia's 4th birthday! look how happy she is

Day 4

Nadia giving Gyro his bone

Day 5

Girls running through toilet paper. Thats right, i let them play with toilet paper. Was a mess but they had a blast!!

To SOAR or not to SOAR.....

There is this SOAR scholarship that MeRa has put together. It is an amazing opportunity but i cant help myself to think im not good enough.

You were to make a 2 min video. it was suggested that you record yourself in the video but not required. I did not do this. Not sure why, maybe shyness? also the application had a few questions and i couldnt think of a thing to write. Part of me wanted to go back and redo my video and application, but the other part didnt and so i didnt. THEN it was.. do i submit it?!! after all this work.. do i send it in.

as im watching all the videos being submitted, my confidence gets smaller and smaller. Again, how can i compare to these talented women. Most of them have been doing this for a while! how could I even apply when i just got into this 5 months ago? The photos these women shared are awesome!! I wish i could capture what they did. A lot of them are very artistic and thats what im drawn to and want to capture. I just dont feel that my photos compare to these talented women.
Well, even though i have all these doubts and questions i submitted it any way. (still waiting for it to show up on her website) Part of me feels like a fool and not sure why.... so here we go....

The video i sent in................






So now we wait to see who the 3 lucky women are to receive such a great gift!!