Nana 7/13/1911 - 1/9/2008

written: Thursday, January 10, 2008 1:11 am (from myspace account)

Im awake right now.. Cant sleep, its too late to call any body and I just wanted to type this out… need to get it out.

The other day i was on the phone with my sister and we were talking about jewelry that nana had given us a long time ago. I have 2 rings and thought i would change them into necklaces or something. the rings a bit big and not sure if i really like them. One of them is pretty but the stone is big.... My sister didn't like that idea of changing them and told me to wear one for a week and maybe I would like it.

Tonight, I was about to go to bed and thought.. oh i should put on that ring. I also saw a bracelet that Pop had given me when I was in high school.. says.. to ida, love pop. So i decided i would put that on too. The ring didn't look so bad and just needs to be cleaned though.. I thought i just might keep it on.

I looked at the time and it was 11:30pm. Gia woke up for a second and let out a lil cry/groan. i thought.. oh boy here we go.. Going to be a rough night again but she went right back to sleep. I also thought of nana.. Wondered if gia was dreaming of her.. and I also thought (not even kidding here) it would be weird if nana had passed right now.. and I have on her ring. I went to bed with the ring on just for this night.

around 12am.. the phone rings .. its my mother to tell me that Nana had passed and had passed peacefully. We all knew it was going to be in the next couple of days.. just wasn't sure when. Im in a state of shock! But I had to ask my mom…. i said to her , hope you don't mind me asking but do you know what time she passed.. my mom said.. around 11:30pm!!!! this is NO lie!!!! Im a bit freaked out.. but at the same time its like nana was here. Wanting me to put on that ring!

This ring is staying with me forever!!!

Love you Nana!! The ring is BEAUTIFUL!!!! Will miss you very much!

I made this the very next day.

http://www.rockyou.com/show_my_gallery2.php?instanceid=98285220

With all my love!

Day 8 of project 365

Passing time....

Its 1pm and i got Nadia down for a nap and gia watching tv! now for some ME time..

there is just one thing i cant seem to get out of my mind. Ive been thinking all morning, now into the afternoon, about the SOAR scholarship in the hopes that I win. Im emagining how i would react, of course its more like receiving a crown and flowers and a whole bunch of people cheering. LMAO! But im not the girly type. im more the T-shirt jean kinda girl. Soo the crown wouldnt really look so good. eh, maybe get a trophy in a shape of a camera??? or or, ........ ok ill stop =P
i dont know why i do this to myself, there is no way i could possibly win. There are so many more deserving women but still find myself checking the computer, in hopes....

I know that we are all winners no matter who gets picked and that we will ALL SOAR. But so hard to tell myself that. Always needing validation that im GOOD! so silly! there are people out there who have validated it but for some reason their voices are not strong enough. (maybe i need hearing aids?)

I did see MeRa say the announcement will be in a few hours but we are leaving to go get our hair cuts around 2. (lookin for a change, goin short!) So im gonna miss it. Unless.... maybe i can text my husband to check... and text me who won!

any way.. im just trying to pass some time. it is now to get ready to get a new "look" =P Good luck to all the SOAR applicants!

xoxo

Day 7 of project 365

Remembering

I went into my myspace account in search for something.. Started to read some of the blogs i had written on there.

This one put a smile on my face and wanted to share this.

My family and i had gone to FL for xmas in 2007 knowing that it was going to be Nana's last (my grandmother). She was diagnosed with Cancer a few months before that. I wrote this a few days after we got back from the trip.
Nana was 96 years old.

written: Tuesday, January 01, 2008 9:17 PM

Nana was sitting in her chair and the nurse came by to see how she was doing and if she needed anything. Nana looked at me and said… "This is my right hand man!!" The nurse chuckles a bit. (I can see why nana likes her.. she just has something about her that was calming.) Then nana asked her to sing a song. Apparently this nurse sings church songs to her and she enjoys it! The nurse was too embarrassed and said that's just something we do together!

The nurse then tells nana.(trying to change the subject..lol) "Look around.. Your family is here!!!! You made it! Enjoy this time with them!" Nana slowly looks around with a smile on her face. Looks back at the nurse and says. " I did make it!!!" Then raises her arms in the air and shouts.. "Praise the Lord!"

I will never forget how nana took her time to look at each of us. With that smile on her face!

Day 6 of project 365

Jumping into a pile of pillows.

Day 6

Funk

Ive been in this weird funk! it comes and goes but this one seems to be lasting longer then the others. I get to a point where i dont feel like doing anything with my girls. I just want to sleep, or escape into my computer/photos! I hate feeling like this and Now its beginning to get on my nerves.

ive made some changes in hopes to snap myself out of this and with it being a new year its a great time =) Ive done a lot of cleaning in the house, some organizing, actually did my laundry..lol , and ive moved my computer away from my girls.. FAR FAR away so that ALL my attention is on them. not the computer! last thing i need to do is clean up and organize my computer/art/photography room. Im giving myself a week.

Ive also joined a group through SOAR called Soar sisters 365. you take a picture a day and share with the group. Click here to read an article about project 365 and how it works. im also going to try this from MeRa's blog "10 New Year's Exercises for the Artist with in". Then ill see where this takes me.

Below you will see the photos that i have taken for the project 365. Im going to try to blog with what photos ive shared.

Day 1

our boots

Day 2

playing around with fstop

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Day 3

Gia's 4th birthday! look how happy she is

Day 4

Nadia giving Gyro his bone

Day 5

Girls running through toilet paper. Thats right, i let them play with toilet paper. Was a mess but they had a blast!!