Sessions from the past week......

Welp i attempted the portrait shots again and still had some issues. Even though the sun was out still was not enough light coming in. I did have to use the "cover girl light scoop" At first we thought we didnt get any Good shot and i was ready to retire my portrait set up. But I did find some cute photos and the mom like them too =)

Sooo I didnt retire my portrait set up.. just moved location. I found that the BEST lighting is in my daughters room. dont have to use flash and the pictures come out great.

I had a private session and this was an absolute success.. in my eyes. Im very happy with this one, not to mention how adorable this little one is!!!!!

THIS is my FIRST outside portrait session. This is my sister-in-law and her son. OMG i think they came out so great! very proud of myself. I used the 75-300 lens that a friend of mine is letting me use. (im gonna be sad to give it back tho) I probably would have been fine with my 18-55mm but i had to try this lens out.

A friend of mine came over with her little one.. only 5 days old. this was a surprise visit and was so excited to meet the new addition. Of course to practice with my camera =)

Using the 75-300mm i wanted to see how close i could stand from them and still get a good picture. I really liked how this came out but not sure if im going to get myself this lens.

My friend wanted to get some Xmas photos with her kids. She told me about this Flower farm and they have this whole scene set up. You can go and take your own pictures for free! So we met up there and gave it a try!!! I LOVED the set up but is very challenging with the lighting. Part of it is inside so was kinda dark.. and guess what i forgot.. YUP my home made light scoop!!!

I dont feel that these photos are the greatest but loved how this place had it all set up.

Im looking forward to my upcoming sessions and seeing how much i grow... always finding challenges but seem to be fighting through them =D

Happy Thanksgiving!

We had a very busy day! the morning started with baths for the girls, getting them dressed and ready for the car ride. Drove to see my husband parents first. Sorry i dont have ANY photos and not sure why i never whipped out my camera.. their place has awesome lighting. We had a great time and the girls always love to visit their Gidu and Tata (im probably spelling it wrong but thats grandfather & grandmother in Arabic) I love to see their faces when they see the girls. You can see the joy and happiness. Even though there is a language barrier between us you can still tell what someone is thinking by their expression =) I enjoy seeing that when they see their grand kids!

After our bellies were full from lunch.. we heading to my Dads house. Of course whipping out the camera when it was dark and lighting not so great. But i did take out my "cover girl light scoop". As always the piano is a big hit! not that any of us know how to play it.. LOL

just a few from the day.....

playing piano with aunt shelley..

mean faces with uncle bobby........

Thats my Dad.......... =)

We had a great time and was sooo full from all the food!!! Girls fell asleep as soon as we got home.

Post confidence workshop

The day after i returned from seattle, I brought my girls outside and began to practice what i learned at that workshop. I believe that my picture taking has deffinutly changed.

The first one of Nadia is my favorite!

So then we began to play hide & seek. Nadia did such a great job finding Gia...

with a little help from gyro.. Nadia found me..LOL

I liked how this photo came out. Not sure what it is that i like about it but there's something.......

This was a lot of fun. Ive had a few sessions already and i think you can see the changes already. Will share that soon........

Seattle Confidence Workshop

What a weekend! when people say you get inspired and more CONFIDENCE they weren't kidding! Not only did i learn how to use my camera, I learned a little something about myself! There was alot of information to take in so coming home i was still soaking it in. why i didn't post right away.

First i will mention I MADE IT there and home =D only had issues before the flight to Seattle. once i was on the plane i was fine!

So The first day of the workshop was a bit hectic. A lot of information at once then as the babies arrived Mera showed us how to frame. Then we began to photograph babies. I certainly got frustrated and i didn't think i got anything good.

I was wrong =P

At one point during the workshop Mera and her husband Brian talked about them selves, their story! I could relate in so many areas as im sure so many other people did too. I guess how Mera told it just really hit home.. and that night i realized that "i have to except myself for who i am" I know this is something i was to repeat to myself but this time i really mean it. It was amazing how it just hit me and believe it. Taking this trip was meant to be! I did have alot of people ask me why didnt i wait for the workshop to be closer to NJ. THIS was a journey i had to take. If i didnt i dont think i would have come to so many realizations about myself. Its funny, i went to learn about photography but got sooo much more then that!!!

The next day we were to take portraits but it was raining too much so they canceled it. Instead Mera Critiqued our work. Below is a photo that i shared with the group. I really liked how it came out. This shot was taken while the mom was changing positions. the awkwardness just looked so... sooo artistic? Took the shot and hoped it came out good..LOL

When this photo came up on the screen i did NOT expect the reaction that was given. The other women's photos were gorgeous! how could i even compare. OMG There were so many oohs and Aaahs when it popped up. And Mera turns to me and says "I really cant believe you have only had your camera for 4 months! its beautiful" I couldnt believe my ears. I waited for her to tell me what i could have done better but she had nothing to say. just said it was Great and beautiful. Oh my goodness!!! this is coming from a very successful professional photographer. Its NOW that i believe i CAN take photographs. It is true what other people have said to me. LOL

Gosh, i could go on and on about the weekend but i think im gonna end it with that. I cant wait to put what i learned into action and share with everyone!

Thank you Mera & Brian for this wonderful journey =)

I except myself for who i am

I wasnt sure if i was going to share this but what the heck. Im sure there are plenty of people out there who have the same issue.

Im quite anxious tonight. Tomorrow i leave for Seattle for an AMAZING weekend! a photography CONFIDENCE workshop w/ Mera Koh!!! One thing getting in my way is my Anxiety.

In my early 20s I had my first anxiety attack while i was driving! At that time there was alot of stress for me. Some family issues, i was in collage and not doing so well in school. One night i was driving home and felt like i couldnt breath. Then i wasnt sure if i was driving in a straight line. Thinking "What in the world is going on with me!!" I was a few blocks from my house but couldnt make it. i thought i was going to pass out! (i was hyperventilating and didnt know it) pulled over, ran out of my car and ran to the pay phone (yes, i said pay phone! lol) Figured i would call my dad and have him get me! So i started digging in my purse for change. I had change in my hand but couldnt figure out what was a quarter, nickel or dime. OK that was weird.. thought to myself.. "ok ok.. i can just make a collect call.." i look at the numbers and i cant figure out what number is what!! All i saw was 911. Can you imagine feeling that way! not being able to figure out numbers or change. I was scared out of my mind. What in the world is this!!!! I was brought to the hospital just for them to tell me i was having an anxiety attack and was common for someone my age to experience one. Then was sent home.

Since then i have had issues with driving and i get very anxious if im outside of my comfort zone. The only way i can explain the feeling is being High w/ no drugs tho! some might say "COOL!" ya but not sooo cool for me!!! i HATE that feeling! Im definitely better then i was. It took me 3 months to get back in my car and i think a few years before i started to drive FAR places.

So lets fast forward to the present. Going to Seattle.. im sure your wondering why would i go to Seattle if i have such issues. Well, i had been doing good (on meds), i had driven places and delt with the feeling. I just figured i would be fine. Im seeing a therapist and when i told her about my trip she wanted to teach me some techniques. Just to help with the "feelings". What was great was that i was going to visit a friend of mine who lives almost 2hrs away. This would be good practice for the techniques given. I knew it was an easy drive and was excited to maybe feel normal driving!!!! Um.... Yaaaa.. didnt really go as well as i wanted. =P As soon as i made a wrong turn.. that was the end of it, heart pounding, palms sweating.... So i called my friend and she was able talk me through the rest of the trip. You dont know how upset i was! I left my house feeling so strong.. saying. ya. you can do this! this is going to be great!! This was to show me that i would be fine for my trip to Seattle. This was so disappointing. The best thing was getting there and getting a huge hug from my friend =)

I talked to my therapist about the trip and we worked on a few things. What is really hard is "excepting myself for who i am". I want to be normal! i want to get in my car and just GO! no thoughts, no worries, just GO! But, i except myself for who i am! This is what i am to repeat to myself even if i dont believe it... hmmmm

Im to think of the positives: I made it up there, i was able to keep my cool and my girls had no idea how i was feeling, I made it up there, I was able to call my friend to get me through the rest of the way, I made it up there, I knew to pull over and re group, And I made it up there!

So, i leave for my trip tomorrow afternoon. Im trying to keep my cool and remind myself im going to be fine! Im going to let the feelings happen and know that it will calm down even if the techniques dont work. it does eventually stop. what is soo silly is im more nervous about getting to the airport and finding the gate then getting ON the plane.

Part of the techniques is creating a safe place. I already had one so i was a head of the game..LOL below is a drawing of my safe place. Me with my marty =) I did this in 2002

oh and i thought this was funny. My therapist says to me "we just have to work on your confidence so you can go to the Confidence workshop. LOL

I cant wait to get to Seattle and meet Mera and the 20 other women who are going! To learn, grow and be inspired!!! Once im there im going to be fine and is going to be an awesome weekend!!!

Writing this out made me feel a lot better so im glad i did it. Thanks for letting me share =)

Fall Mini Session

When all the leaves started to change i was itching to get out and take some photos. I really wanted to do some mini photo sessions with the moms group. I found its very difficult to do sessions if i had both my girls. So i would have to do it on the weekend and have the husband watch the girls. BUT he started school and isnt around on Sat =( the only day i had was sundays but that day we use to do errands. uug. All i could do was take my girls to the park and take some photos =) had so much fun.....

Well one day a friend of mine was telling me about this pre-school at a high school! The students there teach the kids. there was one spot left. I jumped on that so quick. My daughter has been talking about school. i can see the sadness in her eyes when her friends talk about their school. I knew she was going to be sooo excited. AND she was!!! its only 3 days a week and an hour and half but its something!!!

after her first week in school i realized i could do a session while she is there. there was a park right by the HS. I could set up a meet up there, do 2 moms at a time 1/2 hr each. My toddler could sit in the stroller while i did this. It worked out great!!

My first mini session meet up was on a monday, it was just one mom! I decided to use the AV function this time. Ok so i cheated.. the ISO was on auto so all i had to worry about was the fstop.. teehee.

thought it was cute she brought the Halloween costume. Sooo adorable =) i was really happy to work on the photos that night and sent her them the next morning. Felt good that i wasnt over whelmed. lol

Next one was on a Tues.. and i did have 2 moms come. was a bit yucky out and at one point the rain started to come down a bit hard. But only lasted a little bit.

When i started doing photo sessions, this little one was my FIRST!! and it rained then too. LOL

loved to see how big she got and is sitting up on her own. so cute. Once again her mom knew exactly what she wanted... I wish i had her vision. she really had some good ideas.

I didnt set up any for Friday in case i got behind. Altho i did Get the photos done pretty quickly and got the photos to the moms within a day or 2!

Below was the next monday. I LOVE his EYES soo beautiful. He has a baby sister but i was only able to get 2 shots of them together. I was so happy the hear that this family is coming back to get more photos done =) I cant wait!!

this day turned into a playdate.. we started late so we ran out of time. both moms were willing to stay so i picked up my daughter from school and all the kids played together at the park. WE had sooo much fun!!!

Below is my older daughter boyfriend..LOL they just get along so well. Its so funny to see them play together. at one point they were holding hands and of course my camera was away so i missed the shot. UGG. They really are too cute!

Sooooo.. this weekend i took the girls up to visit my BFF!! (HI JENN!!!) We had an awesome time. While we were up there a friend of Jenn's had asked if i could take some photos of her son. We had a blast! And guess what!!!! jenn's husband let me use his lens. 75-300mm. so cool not to be in this kids face!! LOL and I love how blurry the background gets.

now its time to prepare for my trip to Seattle... Woot woot!!