Sunday, November 29, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
playing piano with aunt shelley..
mean faces with uncle bobby........
Thats my Dad.......... =)
We had a great time and was sooo full from all the food!!! Girls fell asleep as soon as we got home.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The first one of Nadia is my favorite!
Monday, November 23, 2009
At one point during the workshop Mera and her husband Brian talked about them selves, their story! I could relate in so many areas as im sure so many other people did too. I guess how Mera told it just really hit home.. and that night i realized that "i have to except myself for who i am" I know this is something i was to repeat to myself but this time i really mean it. It was amazing how it just hit me and believe it. Taking this trip was meant to be! I did have alot of people ask me why didnt i wait for the workshop to be closer to NJ. THIS was a journey i had to take. If i didnt i dont think i would have come to so many realizations about myself. Its funny, i went to learn about photography but got sooo much more then that!!!
The next day we were to take portraits but it was raining too much so they canceled it. Instead Mera Critiqued our work. Below is a photo that i shared with the group. I really liked how it came out. This shot was taken while the mom was changing positions. the awkwardness just looked so... sooo artistic? Took the shot and hoped it came out good..LOL
When this photo came up on the screen i did NOT expect the reaction that was given. The other women's photos were gorgeous! how could i even compare. OMG There were so many oohs and Aaahs when it popped up. And Mera turns to me and says "I really cant believe you have only had your camera for 4 months! its beautiful" I couldnt believe my ears. I waited for her to tell me what i could have done better but she had nothing to say. just said it was Great and beautiful. Oh my goodness!!! this is coming from a very successful professional photographer. Its NOW that i believe i CAN take photographs. It is true what other people have said to me. LOL
Gosh, i could go on and on about the weekend but i think im gonna end it with that. I cant wait to put what i learned into action and share with everyone!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Since then i have had issues with driving and i get very anxious if im outside of my comfort zone. The only way i can explain the feeling is being High w/ no drugs tho! some might say "COOL!" ya but not sooo cool for me!!! i HATE that feeling! Im definitely better then i was. It took me 3 months to get back in my car and i think a few years before i started to drive FAR places.
So lets fast forward to the present. Going to Seattle.. im sure your wondering why would i go to Seattle if i have such issues. Well, i had been doing good (on meds), i had driven places and delt with the feeling. I just figured i would be fine. Im seeing a therapist and when i told her about my trip she wanted to teach me some techniques. Just to help with the "feelings". What was great was that i was going to visit a friend of mine who lives almost 2hrs away. This would be good practice for the techniques given. I knew it was an easy drive and was excited to maybe feel normal driving!!!! Um.... Yaaaa.. didnt really go as well as i wanted. =P As soon as i made a wrong turn.. that was the end of it, heart pounding, palms sweating.... So i called my friend and she was able talk me through the rest of the trip. You dont know how upset i was! I left my house feeling so strong.. saying. ya. you can do this! this is going to be great!! This was to show me that i would be fine for my trip to Seattle. This was so disappointing. The best thing was getting there and getting a huge hug from my friend =)
I talked to my therapist about the trip and we worked on a few things. What is really hard is "excepting myself for who i am". I want to be normal! i want to get in my car and just GO! no thoughts, no worries, just GO! But, i except myself for who i am! This is what i am to repeat to myself even if i dont believe it... hmmmm
Im to think of the positives: I made it up there, i was able to keep my cool and my girls had no idea how i was feeling, I made it up there, I was able to call my friend to get me through the rest of the way, I made it up there, I knew to pull over and re group, And I made it up there!
So, i leave for my trip tomorrow afternoon. Im trying to keep my cool and remind myself im going to be fine! Im going to let the feelings happen and know that it will calm down even if the techniques dont work. it does eventually stop. what is soo silly is im more nervous about getting to the airport and finding the gate then getting ON the plane.
Part of the techniques is creating a safe place. I already had one so i was a head of the game..LOL below is a drawing of my safe place. Me with my marty =) I did this in 2002
oh and i thought this was funny. My therapist says to me "we just have to work on your confidence so you can go to the Confidence workshop. LOL
I cant wait to get to Seattle and meet Mera and the 20 other women who are going! To learn, grow and be inspired!!! Once im there im going to be fine and is going to be an awesome weekend!!!
Writing this out made me feel a lot better so im glad i did it. Thanks for letting me share =)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Next one was on a Tues.. and i did have 2 moms come. was a bit yucky out and at one point the rain started to come down a bit hard. But only lasted a little bit.
When i started doing photo sessions, this little one was my FIRST!! and it rained then too. LOL
Below is my older daughter boyfriend..LOL they just get along so well. Its so funny to see them play together. at one point they were holding hands and of course my camera was away so i missed the shot. UGG. They really are too cute!